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:icondoktorfroggfan: More from DoktorFroggFan

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STORIES by DoktorFroggMinion

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Submitted on
May 24, 2009
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     It's easier to be original and foolish than original and wise.
          —Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

     Frogg tinkered with the prototype psionic enhancer (and brainwasher) in the lair living-room. His room got too cluttered with all the other inventions and stuff he all ready had in there. It was still too stuffy for him, was an unusually warm day and he was working up a sweat.
     He was hesitant to use the freeze-ray. It was a powerful machine but tricky. The League used it as an air-conditioner by freezing one room of the house and using fans to circulate the cool air through the rest of the lair. Worked pretty good except that the room chosen to be frozen would be arctic cold.
   The last time they used it they tried freezing the bathroom. Seemed like a bright idea until you have to answer the call of nature. Try using the toilet in a room that's ten degrees below Fahrenheit.
     Frogg had the lair all to himself. Red, Voltar and Doomageddon were all busy on the latest mission. Doktor Frogg was excused to work on his most recent contraption. He didn't feel too bad about not participating. It was another one of those not-so-grand evil schemes. At least it kept Doomageddon out of his hair.
     Voltar had been complaining that they'd lose their edge if they didn't come up with something evil to do in the meantime. Frogg had suggested waxing Justice Gene's uni-brow but Voltar couldn't see the evil in that. Waxing stings really bad, that's kind of evil. Besides, Gene's uni-brow really bugged Frogg.
     He heard children's laughter and shouts coming from the front yard. Frogg turned from his work to look out the front window and see the local kids running past the Lair with their squirt guns. The weather had been so nice and warm lately that they picked today to stage a water war. Voltar chose to participate as a way to maintain the League of Super Evil's dominance of the neighborhood. Frogg felt just a twinge of regret. He had to admit to himself that even though most of Voltar's schemes were of the trivial variety, they were sometimes very fun. Besides, a squirt-gun battle would be a great way to cool off.
     He wiped a bead of sweat off of his forehead. There was a nice breeze outside, but he couldn't risk moving his work into the yard. It would be just his luck to get squirted by someone, short out the electronics, and get electrocuted to boot. It happens to him often enough without flirting with disaster.
    Frogg returned his attention to his work. He had taken an old bicycle helmet and fitted it with Electroencephalography  (EEG) electrodes. He had to be sure that they were properly placed to fit the correct areas of the scalp, but be adjustable for different sized heads. He was intently focused on the head piece when he heard a commotion coming from the front yard.
    Frogg went over to the front window to see the children running down the street, fast as they could and screaming bloody murder. The game had started off with two teams but had deteriorated to everybody versus the League.
     Voltar came barreling around a corner in hot pursuit of the kids, Doomageddon and Red not far behind. Voltar was clutching a super-sized super-soaker almost as big as himself. The liquid inside was disturbingly purple. Frogg shuddered and suddenly felt very relieved that he was excused from participating in the mission. He knew that if he had, it would be just his luck to get doused with the contents of that water gun.
     He shook his head as he started to gather up the components of his psionic enhancer. Voltar was the reason he could no longer drink grape juice. At any rate, the Ultimate Water War For Supremacy Of The Neighborhood would be winding down soon. Those kids would be yelling "uncle" and then Voltar would claim victory. That meant he could move his work outside, get out of the stuffy Lair and enjoy the breeze.

   Later Voltar, Red, and Doomageddon had all returned to the Lair in triumph. Voltar was relaxing on the couch. Red went to the kitchen to get some iced tea to celebrate their victory.
      "You know Voltar," Red started as he handed his great and horrible leader a glass full of tea, "that wasn't exactly water you had in your super-soaker."
     "Yeah, so?" Voltar returned.
     "It was supposed to be a 'water war'." Red pointed out. "The way we won wasn't very fair."
     "Of course it wasn't fair," the little man raised his voice in enthusiasm. "It was EEEVIL!" He lifted his hands threw back his head, and laughed in a manner that he practiced daily, in front of a mirror.
     "Say, where's Frogg?" he asked Red after taking a sip of tea. "Didn't he punk out on us so he could stay here and work on his brain thingy?"
     Red went into Frogg's laboratory and returned to Voltar shrugging, "He's not in his room."
     They both went into the garage in search of their teammate. When they could find no sign of him Red sighed, "Oh not again," and headed back into the living-room to find Doomageddon on the sofa. The cloaked hound was lounging on his back, sound asleep.
     Red cranked the beast's jaws open as wide as he could, "Frogg!" he yelled into Doomageddon's  mouth. After there was no response Red reached inside, felt around, pulled out an old videocassette recorder, a blow-dryer, and a toilet seat. He then stuck his head into the gaping maw all the way past his shoulders. "Nope, not in there," he said after he dislodged himself. The disturbed hell-hound gave a low whine, curled up on the sofa and went back to sleep.
     "If he's not in his room, or the garage, and Doomageddon hasn't swallowed him, where could he be?" puzzled Voltar.
    Just then they heard a thump, a yelp, then a banging sound coming from the backyard. Their curiosity peaked, they headed towards the back to see what was making all the noise. What they found when they got there was a floundering, flailing Frogg.
     "Unngh...." Frogg grunted between gritted teeth. His right arm extended up and bent over his head as his left arm bent forward and to the right across his mid-section. As his arms described a sort of box shape above his waist, he bent slightly forward in a quick, sort of jerking motion.
     "What's he doing?" Voltar queried.
     "I dunno," answered Red. "It does look kind of familiar though."
     They watched him repeat this motion a few more times. Each time he seemed to be fighting against some unseen force.
     "Hey, I know this one," the large man said cheerfully. "It's the Safety Dance!" Red rushed over to Frogg, mimicking his motions and singing, "We can dance, we can dance. Everybody look at your hands."
     Voltar stood near the backdoor staring at his minions in dismay. Perhaps the stress of the villainous lifestyle had finally taken its toll on them. He had always half expected Frogg to go off the deep end someday, but Red too? And it was very inconvenient of them to both crack up at the same time.
     "" Doktor Frogg struggled to get the words out. He was still twisting and jerking in the manner of that 1980's music video.
     "What?" asked his dancing partner.
     "Button... red button..." Frogg reached out his left arm, a trembling claw pointed towards a work station set up in the back yard, then whipped back across his mid-section. The force almost twisting him around.
     "Red Buttons?" Voltar paid no attention to the direction his minion had pointed. "You mean the movie actor?"
     "Wasn't he in 'Stagecoach' and 'The Poseidon Adventure'?" Red queried.
     "Yeah, and 'Pete's Dragon' too." Voltar pointed out. "What about him?"
     Suddenly Doktor Frogg collapsed. "The red button!" he screamed. He managed to get himself onto his knees. "Push the red button quickly before the cycle starts again! I'm dying over here!"
     Voltar was closest to Frogg's portable work station. He rushed over to it.     An almost inaudible high pitched whine had been emitting from the instrument that went unnoticed before. Voltar pressed the red button and the unit went silent.
     Frogg unsteadily wobbled to his feet, took one step, then started to keel over. Red caught him and helped him back into the lair, supporting Frogg's weight as he stumbled along. By the time they made it to the sofa, Frogg couldn't even try to walk anymore. His feet dragging on the thread-bare carpet until Red deposited him limply onto the sofa.
     Voltar waited patiently as Frogg gasped and panted. "Do you mind telling me what that was all about?" he asked as soon as the Doktor had caught his breath.
     "The unit uses electromagnetism and electromagnetic waves." Frogg answered still somewhat out of breath. "I underestimated the power that the proto-unit can generate. When I tried to test it, the quantum electrodynamics were at a much higher force than I anticipated. The wave cycle was wreaking havoc on all of the metal on my body."
     Frogg gave a deep sigh and massaged his jaw and the skin around his chin cup. The soreness made him wince slightly. "It's a good thing you two showed up when you did. I don't know how much longer I could have withstood that."
     "Hey, we're all family here," Voltar said reassuringly. "No need to mention it."
     Voltar paused a moment before continuing. "You know, since we are family," the red-clad leader sat on the coffee table in front of Frogg and leaned toward him slightly, "if there is anything you need to need to talk about, anything on your mind, you can come to us with it."
   "Uh-huh," Frogg wondered what Voltar might be hinting at.
   "We can dance, if you want to."
   "Huh?" the scientist raised an eyebrow in puzzlement.
     Voltar's form-fitting helmet revealed the beginning of a grin, "We can leave your friends behind."
     Frogg rolled his eyes, "Awwww, give me a break!"
     The little red man jumped onto the coffee table and began to dance as he sang, " 'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine."
Well, here is part three. It took me a little longer to get this one out. Hope it was worth the wait.
And for those readers who may not get the Safety Dance reference the music video can be found here [link]
I hope that clears up any confusion for the both of you.
Until next time,


Unexpected Side Effects pt 1 is here [link]

Unexpected Side Effects pt 2 is here [link]

Unexpected Side Effects pt 4 is here [link]

Unexpected Side Effects pt 5 is here [link]

Unexpected Side Effects pt 6 is here [link]

Unexpected Side Effects pt 7 is here [link]
Add a Comment:
NefariousTropy Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Whoot! Yet another fanfic has gotten a song stuck in my head. ^^
DoktorFroggFan Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2009
I watched the video over and over. I even downloaded the lyrics.
That song was stuck in my head for weeks.
I even heard it in my dreams!
I did it too myself, but there are worse songs to have stuck in your head.
NefariousTropy Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I haven't seen the video yet. I know the song though. It was once one of my favorites.

My sister likes trying to get that Barbie Girl song stuck in my head. DX I hate that song with a passion.
DoktorFroggFan Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2009
Ohhh! It's worse than the Hamtaro song!
NefariousTropy Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:lol: I remember that song. I thought it was cute. ^^
DoktorFroggFan Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2009
Not when it gets stuck in your head for an entire day. Then as soon as it seems as though it's gone, your crazy friend starts to hum it again.
NefariousTropy Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
XD I have that problem with the bananaphone song. :lmao:
DoktorFroggFan Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2009
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, BANANAPHONE!

(1 Reply)
Paix-Angelique Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009
:evillaugh: Heh heh, niiiice.
DoktorFroggFan Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2009
Thank you.
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